5 posts in one day... but 3 were old... that's okay...
tonight in class, i preached - seriously - preached a sermon for preaching class - however many of the guys in my class would have disagreed... they'll allow me to communicate, but not preach... whatever...
it went pretty well... i talked too fast (nerves), but received much praise for my illustrations... and was even told by one of the pastors that i could come preach at his church anytime... seriously, i'm glad it's over but it went okay... not terrible at all... it's a pretty intimidating thing - my class is all men, except there is one other woman... and for me - it's a bit overwhelming... but it's all good... it is finished...
i have some homework to get done tonight, but i'm exhausted and not motivated... i just want to go home and go to bed... maybe that's what i'll do - and then i'll get up and work on my mini-project in the morning and finish up my theology project during my break tomorrow... good idea... i'm a genius...
Nov 30, 2004
a happy plate...
Okay – so evidently I’m the only person in my circle in the northwest who knows what this means… is this a southern phrase? Is this a phrase that is specific to my own upbringing… (not that my parents ever said it – it came much later – when I was in jr. high and high school – and related to the day care that mom had… but I said something about it at dinner on Saturday night and everyone looked at me like I was nuts… what? a happy plate? Yes… a happy plate – It means you finished all of the food on your plate, so it’s happy…
However… I just talked to a friend from school who said that he lived that – a place that he used to go had a yellow smiley face painted on the plates for kids – and the idea is – the kids would eat all their food and there is a smiley face at the bottom so it’s a happy plate!!! It all makes sense, doesn’t it?
Also – something we said growing up – was if you mixed up all different types of soda in your cup it was called a suicide… I don’t know why – we just did – but I don’t think that’s a common phrase where I am now…
And the big one – I know a toboggan as a hat – but here it’s a sled… and everyone thinks I am weird because I think of a toboggan as a beanie and not a sled… hmm…
So I’m wondering what other random phrases I know that no one else really knows… are they geographical oddities or specific family oddities? Feel free to comment…
However… I just talked to a friend from school who said that he lived that – a place that he used to go had a yellow smiley face painted on the plates for kids – and the idea is – the kids would eat all their food and there is a smiley face at the bottom so it’s a happy plate!!! It all makes sense, doesn’t it?
Also – something we said growing up – was if you mixed up all different types of soda in your cup it was called a suicide… I don’t know why – we just did – but I don’t think that’s a common phrase where I am now…
And the big one – I know a toboggan as a hat – but here it’s a sled… and everyone thinks I am weird because I think of a toboggan as a beanie and not a sled… hmm…
So I’m wondering what other random phrases I know that no one else really knows… are they geographical oddities or specific family oddities? Feel free to comment…
chairs for sale...
A couple of weekends I watched a bunch of movies… born on the fourth of july, red dawn, phenomenon, and bridget jones – the edge of reason… good times… war movies and love stories…
My discussion of the war movies is as follows… wow… intense… as far as born on the fourth of july goes – I appreciate oliver stone’s ability to pull out the “hard stuff” and shed it in a new light – and in a different way… even though I don’t necessarily always like intense war-type dramas… (even though this one mostly focuses on “after the war”) it really made me think about stuff a lot differently than I had before… and I’ll drop it at that…
Okay – onto the love stories… could I linger on war movies long? No…
Okay – I’m a HUGE bridget jones fan… I loved the first movie… I can honestly see all the things that she does and think – that is me… (for the most part – there are definitely things that she does that I don’t do… mostly because of morality issues…) but the way she pretty much says the wrong thing at the wrong time a whole heck of a lot of the time… well, yeah, that’s pretty much me… and the way that she does dumb stuff – like getting herself into weird situations… well, yeah, that’s me, too…
So, I went to see the second one… I hadn’t really heard good things about it – but I thought… I love bridget jones… so I’ll definitely love it!!! And I did really like it… it was different than seeing the first one – probably for a couple of reasons… 1) I had already read the book, so I kind of already knew what was going to happen… 2) I was already expecting her to do a bunch of dumb stuff, so it kind of took the shock value out of it for me… however… I still laughed a whole lot and snorted several times… and even got teary eyed…
And… I still loved the story… here’s bridget dealing with the “perfect man” but she feels like she isn’t good enough… and there are some statements she makes that totally hit home… and it got me to thinking – I know there’s a mark darcy out there for me… in the sense of – there is someone that I’m going to embarrass trememdously on a very regular basis and who will probably have to bail me out of some sticky situations every now and then… poor guy…
She makes some statements – stupid imdb hasn’t put up all the great quotes, yet, so these aren’t exact…
She says something to mark about how she always embarrasses him in front of his friends and always says the wrong thing and that she’ll always be a little bit overweight… and I think the reason I identify so much with her character is that it feels a bit more real that the characters I’m subjected to when I choose to watch a dumb chick-flick…
I watched phenomenon twice in the theater when it came out and loved it… I have the soundtrack, even… but I don’t think I’ve seen it very much since then… but there is this great scene… terrific… after george has gone through a whole bunch of stuff and it’s close to the end… and the doctor is talking with some of the guys in the bar…and he sticks up for george – in talking about lace…
Doc: Banes... how's your lady love? Banes: We... um... we broke up.
Doc: Really? That's too bad, yeah. Now George has a love at his side and she is sticking with him. You know why? Because he bought her chairs. That's pretty smart to me. You ever buy Lisa's chairs?' Banes: Doc's real drunk tonight.
Doc: Every woman has her chair, something she needs to put herself into, Banes. You ever figure out what Lisa's chairs were and buy 'em?
I love that scene… it is probably my favorite scene from the movie? Why?
Because I have my own set of uncomfortable chairs… and it was like… he understands… he “gets” it… I don’t know what my chairs are… i doubt that in the movie she was really looking for someone to physically buy the chairs… but the analogy is beautiful… and that made me think, too… I don’t necessarily want to go into all of that, so I think I’m going to leave it there… but my word of advice to guys – if you like a girl, figure out what her chairs are and buy them – all of them… fill your house with them…:)
My discussion of the war movies is as follows… wow… intense… as far as born on the fourth of july goes – I appreciate oliver stone’s ability to pull out the “hard stuff” and shed it in a new light – and in a different way… even though I don’t necessarily always like intense war-type dramas… (even though this one mostly focuses on “after the war”) it really made me think about stuff a lot differently than I had before… and I’ll drop it at that…
Okay – onto the love stories… could I linger on war movies long? No…
Okay – I’m a HUGE bridget jones fan… I loved the first movie… I can honestly see all the things that she does and think – that is me… (for the most part – there are definitely things that she does that I don’t do… mostly because of morality issues…) but the way she pretty much says the wrong thing at the wrong time a whole heck of a lot of the time… well, yeah, that’s pretty much me… and the way that she does dumb stuff – like getting herself into weird situations… well, yeah, that’s me, too…
So, I went to see the second one… I hadn’t really heard good things about it – but I thought… I love bridget jones… so I’ll definitely love it!!! And I did really like it… it was different than seeing the first one – probably for a couple of reasons… 1) I had already read the book, so I kind of already knew what was going to happen… 2) I was already expecting her to do a bunch of dumb stuff, so it kind of took the shock value out of it for me… however… I still laughed a whole lot and snorted several times… and even got teary eyed…
And… I still loved the story… here’s bridget dealing with the “perfect man” but she feels like she isn’t good enough… and there are some statements she makes that totally hit home… and it got me to thinking – I know there’s a mark darcy out there for me… in the sense of – there is someone that I’m going to embarrass trememdously on a very regular basis and who will probably have to bail me out of some sticky situations every now and then… poor guy…
She makes some statements – stupid imdb hasn’t put up all the great quotes, yet, so these aren’t exact…
She says something to mark about how she always embarrasses him in front of his friends and always says the wrong thing and that she’ll always be a little bit overweight… and I think the reason I identify so much with her character is that it feels a bit more real that the characters I’m subjected to when I choose to watch a dumb chick-flick…
I watched phenomenon twice in the theater when it came out and loved it… I have the soundtrack, even… but I don’t think I’ve seen it very much since then… but there is this great scene… terrific… after george has gone through a whole bunch of stuff and it’s close to the end… and the doctor is talking with some of the guys in the bar…and he sticks up for george – in talking about lace…
Doc: Banes... how's your lady love? Banes: We... um... we broke up.
Doc: Really? That's too bad, yeah. Now George has a love at his side and she is sticking with him. You know why? Because he bought her chairs. That's pretty smart to me. You ever buy Lisa's chairs?' Banes: Doc's real drunk tonight.
Doc: Every woman has her chair, something she needs to put herself into, Banes. You ever figure out what Lisa's chairs were and buy 'em?
I love that scene… it is probably my favorite scene from the movie? Why?
Because I have my own set of uncomfortable chairs… and it was like… he understands… he “gets” it… I don’t know what my chairs are… i doubt that in the movie she was really looking for someone to physically buy the chairs… but the analogy is beautiful… and that made me think, too… I don’t necessarily want to go into all of that, so I think I’m going to leave it there… but my word of advice to guys – if you like a girl, figure out what her chairs are and buy them – all of them… fill your house with them…:)
why do we do the things we do?
A bunch of saturday nights ago my car wouldn’t start… I was talking to amy on the phone when it happened, and I had just been talking about how it was fixed… pretty funny and ironic… but the best part was… I got off the phone with amy and I opened the hood of the car…
Let’s get one thing straight… I know little about cars… in looking under the hood, I may be able to do a few things… check the oil, windshield wiper fluid, hook up jumper cables and to take notice of if the car was smoking or not… other than that, I’m not much use for anything… so why did I feel compelled to open the hood? Because I was supposed to… when the car is broken, you lift the hood… not because I know what’s wrong with it… but because that’s what I’m supposed to do…
It made me think of a story… a man and woman got married and the man noticed that when the woman made ham, she would always cut two inches off of each end, stick it in the pan and put it in the oven… this completely baffled him… he asked his wife why she did it, and she said, “i don’t know… it’s what my mother did…” the next time he saw his mother-in-law, he asked her about it…she said, “I don’t know… it’s what my mother did.” So he went to his wife’s grandmother and he asked her about it… she replied, “I had to cut the ends off the ham so it would fit in the pan…”
Okay, since I heard this story from someone else, I’m sure it’s been passed around a whole lot – so it’s not all that new – but the event and story make me stop and look at the things I do – the weird, quirky things… and the things passed on to me by tradition… the things that are familiar to me, but very unfamiliar and very abnormal… (thanks, guys… i’m an idiot – I know unnormal is not a word… I don’t have internet on my laptop, so no dictionary.com – I’m totally lost!!!)
Hmm… what are those things…
Okay – here’s one… old school Nintendo… if it won’t play, what do you do? You blow into the game… and if that doesn’t work, you lean down, blow into the machine… that magical air flow fixes the Nintendo and it works…
In my pastoral counseling class, our professor talked about how sometimes we do things subconsciously… like twirling hair or needing something to rub between our fingers – like a piece of fabric or a stuffed animal… how it could be linked to something from our past…
When I was a little girl, I sucked my thumb and had a pillow that I would hold… the pillow was made from dish towels sewn together and stuffed with pantyhose… I would rub the fringe of the pillow on my face while I sucked my thumb… I’ve heard this story many times… and lately, without realizing it until today, I have been wanting something soft… a little stuffed animal to hold when I’m stressed out… granted, I don’t think I’ll revert to sucking my thumb (let’s hope not)… but it’s a security thing…
I have a friend and she has a night-night… an old blanket that is in shreds… but she always sleeps with her night-night… one time, her night-night went missing (prank) and she was hysterical… she’s had it since she was a baby… I doubt that she thinks it’s weird that she still sleeps with her night-night at 22 years old… and even plans to take it on her honeymoon… but to many others, it’s odd…
so i'm sure there are a lot of other things, too... open to comments and suggestions... they make me laugh...
Let’s get one thing straight… I know little about cars… in looking under the hood, I may be able to do a few things… check the oil, windshield wiper fluid, hook up jumper cables and to take notice of if the car was smoking or not… other than that, I’m not much use for anything… so why did I feel compelled to open the hood? Because I was supposed to… when the car is broken, you lift the hood… not because I know what’s wrong with it… but because that’s what I’m supposed to do…
It made me think of a story… a man and woman got married and the man noticed that when the woman made ham, she would always cut two inches off of each end, stick it in the pan and put it in the oven… this completely baffled him… he asked his wife why she did it, and she said, “i don’t know… it’s what my mother did…” the next time he saw his mother-in-law, he asked her about it…she said, “I don’t know… it’s what my mother did.” So he went to his wife’s grandmother and he asked her about it… she replied, “I had to cut the ends off the ham so it would fit in the pan…”
Okay, since I heard this story from someone else, I’m sure it’s been passed around a whole lot – so it’s not all that new – but the event and story make me stop and look at the things I do – the weird, quirky things… and the things passed on to me by tradition… the things that are familiar to me, but very unfamiliar and very abnormal… (thanks, guys… i’m an idiot – I know unnormal is not a word… I don’t have internet on my laptop, so no dictionary.com – I’m totally lost!!!)
Hmm… what are those things…
Okay – here’s one… old school Nintendo… if it won’t play, what do you do? You blow into the game… and if that doesn’t work, you lean down, blow into the machine… that magical air flow fixes the Nintendo and it works…
In my pastoral counseling class, our professor talked about how sometimes we do things subconsciously… like twirling hair or needing something to rub between our fingers – like a piece of fabric or a stuffed animal… how it could be linked to something from our past…
When I was a little girl, I sucked my thumb and had a pillow that I would hold… the pillow was made from dish towels sewn together and stuffed with pantyhose… I would rub the fringe of the pillow on my face while I sucked my thumb… I’ve heard this story many times… and lately, without realizing it until today, I have been wanting something soft… a little stuffed animal to hold when I’m stressed out… granted, I don’t think I’ll revert to sucking my thumb (let’s hope not)… but it’s a security thing…
I have a friend and she has a night-night… an old blanket that is in shreds… but she always sleeps with her night-night… one time, her night-night went missing (prank) and she was hysterical… she’s had it since she was a baby… I doubt that she thinks it’s weird that she still sleeps with her night-night at 22 years old… and even plans to take it on her honeymoon… but to many others, it’s odd…
so i'm sure there are a lot of other things, too... open to comments and suggestions... they make me laugh...
old entries...
okay - so i have a couple of older entries that i had saved on my laptop - and right now i'm hooked up on my laptop to the network at school, so i can post them... yeah!!! so that's what they are - i know they're old, but oh well... i took the time to write them, so i might as well post them!!!
Nov 28, 2004
random road trip to cali!!!
okay - so for thanksgiving i went to california... i know - crazy - i found out that two friends from school were leaving on tuesday at 7:00 p.m. - i found out at about 5:30 - and they kind of half-jokingly asked if i wanted to go... and little did they know that i would take them up on the offer... and join them for a 6 day excursion... (tuesday until tonight)
i seriously had a terrific time... it was definitely what i needed for thanksgiving... here are some highlights:
(*)i got to hang out with one of my friends from school's extended family (2 uncles and 3 cousins - and lots of animals - 4 dogs, 3 cats, and a donkey... i had never touched a donkey until this week - how fun is that?)...
(*)i got to spend lots of time talking with friends from school and it was very therapeutic - i feel refreshed and enlightened...
(*)i remembered how great the family is that i live with - and was reminded of it in full force today - was really glad to be home...
(*)i was able to see a lot of stuff from my past in a new perspective because of new friends' perspectives and that was very cool...
(*)i got to go on a road trip and i love road trips!
(*)lots of veg-time...
(*)saw some new movies...
(*)had a lot of fun...
(*)abandoned homework the whole time!!
so i might post a more meaningful account... but... that whole homework thing is still needing to be accomplished tonight and the hour is growing late and i had to get up at 5 a.m. - and i didn't go to bed until 1:30ish... so i'm already kind of tired and i should get it mostly done before tomorrow...
so... that will have to do for now!!!
i seriously had a terrific time... it was definitely what i needed for thanksgiving... here are some highlights:
(*)i got to hang out with one of my friends from school's extended family (2 uncles and 3 cousins - and lots of animals - 4 dogs, 3 cats, and a donkey... i had never touched a donkey until this week - how fun is that?)...
(*)i got to spend lots of time talking with friends from school and it was very therapeutic - i feel refreshed and enlightened...
(*)i remembered how great the family is that i live with - and was reminded of it in full force today - was really glad to be home...
(*)i was able to see a lot of stuff from my past in a new perspective because of new friends' perspectives and that was very cool...
(*)i got to go on a road trip and i love road trips!
(*)lots of veg-time...
(*)saw some new movies...
(*)had a lot of fun...
(*)abandoned homework the whole time!!
so i might post a more meaningful account... but... that whole homework thing is still needing to be accomplished tonight and the hour is growing late and i had to get up at 5 a.m. - and i didn't go to bed until 1:30ish... so i'm already kind of tired and i should get it mostly done before tomorrow...
so... that will have to do for now!!!
Nov 19, 2004
end of the week...
wow... i made it through a "normal" week - with school and work... and well... i made it through... which is a good thing - it's really not been all that bad, i must say...
i don't really have anything insightful to post...
but i do have business cards... i had them printed today... :)... yippee!!! i got my nameplate for my doorway earlier this week... so i'm definitely official... which is totally fun!!!
but for now, i'm going to take the weekend - i have some work stuff to do this weekend (proofing the paper), but other than that i'm going to relax - do some homework... and just be for a while... which should be fun... mary and i have a date tonight (girls' night)... it will rock!!!
have a happy weekend!!!
i don't really have anything insightful to post...
but i do have business cards... i had them printed today... :)... yippee!!! i got my nameplate for my doorway earlier this week... so i'm definitely official... which is totally fun!!!
but for now, i'm going to take the weekend - i have some work stuff to do this weekend (proofing the paper), but other than that i'm going to relax - do some homework... and just be for a while... which should be fun... mary and i have a date tonight (girls' night)... it will rock!!!
have a happy weekend!!!
Nov 17, 2004
in response...
wow... so it's been a while since i've written anything of substance... i have mostly been writing about personal junk that doesn't really provide any deeper thoughts... and then... in the last 2 days i have been challenged by similar thoughts of 3 different people who live in very different places... maybe they're all onto something...
1) amy's blog:
i have absolutely no idea what God is trying to teach me right now, but i'm absolutely miserable. i've hit this low point and it everyday it seems to get worse. like i'm in this giant box and it keeps getting shoved around and tossed up and down and now i want out, but i don't even know which way is up.
somedays i feel God tugging at me, but i keep running in the opposite direction. and i don't even want to. i want to stop and let him hold me, but it's like my legs won't stop running long enough to just be still and sit in his prescence. i know the stories. i know that job had everything taken away, but he remained faithful to God and he was blessed. i know that david had to take up the stones and battle goliath. i know that jonah spent time in the belly of a whale because he ran away from what God was telling him. the bible says "be faithful" and "stand firm" but how easy is it to really live that out. it's not easy at all. it's hard. it's a life full of pain, sorrow, trials. i know we as christians were never guaranteed an easy life, in fact we were told the opposite.
(to read entire entry, click here...)
2) chad's blog:
As one of my friends was speaking, God put this on my heart...What if in those times of "dryness," in the times of thirst for God, in the times of not hearing God's voice, God was really trying to teach you something. What if He was allowing you to go through these times so that you know how an unsaved person feels on an everyday basis? What if He wanted you to feel the pain that someone searching feels? And through that pain you get the sense that these people that feel this pain you are in, are the people we should be seeking to find to show them how to find the peace and hope and joy that you so regularly know through the love of God. And through this pain, in your search for the Lord, you find extreme comfort and there is nothing better than feeling the loving comfort of our Father after going through a hard, painful, dry time.
Wow God. You blew me away by putting this on my heart. I've never even thought of it this way. This is what I'm talking about. God has been moving in me. He gives me things like this to be able to comfort the people I know that are hurting right now, and He does it at just the right time. He gives me the right words to say. The Spirit of God is in me and man, am I ever thankful for it. Another way I know He is working through me is that I am starting to finally get the compassion thing. I've been starting to hurt when people hurt. I've been overwhelmed lately by the fact that when I see people hurt, it grieves my heart. I would say that compassion has never been one of my spiritual gifts, but I can see how God is working in my life to change me. I'm excited.
(to read this entire entry, click here...)
i've posted a lot in their words... partially because if i tried to summarize, i'd do a bad job... their words are powerful... no need for me to mess them up...
so part of both of those entries talk about dry times... desert-talk - how do we feel in the desert? thirsty, sure... that's an understatement... but here's where i want to tie in the third instance - a different spin on some similar thoughts...
3) i was riding with mary back to school after grabbing some lunch yesterday... all of a sudden, it hit me...
a year ago, i would never have dreamed i would be where i am... let me clarify...
when i was in college and declared a major, i wanted to have a job working in advertising/graphic design - newspaper... the whole thing... i wanted to be working in a creative field... God put that in my heart/desires - but then not too long after that, i felt like God was calling me into the ministry... immediately, all of those plans went on the back burner and i was focused on ministry... in the mean time, my portfolio and excitement for advertising suffered... close to disappearing... about a year ago, i was in downtown portland with a friend - we were going to go to a seminar at the art institute of portland - he graduated from there with a degree in graphic design... in sitting in the seminar, i was sad... i missed it - i missed being a part of that field... as we were walking back to his truck, i expressed how frustrated i was that i had put all of that behind me... and even though i'd love for that to be a part of my life again, i had chosen ministry... and i had to be faithful... a year later, and much heartache with not knowing exactly what God had for me - here i am...
mary had a similar experience with her art... she has an art degree and left it behind to go to seminary and do ministry... and now works as a church secretary... she experienced and expressed some of the same frustrations about leaving all of it behind to pursue ministry as that is what God had for her... but then He had brought it back into her life... she is able to use art as a ministry to many - it's not her entire life but it's a huge part of her ministry...
BUT... here's the great part...
when God had restored those things in our life - and when we reflected on it yesterday, we both realized how much sweeter it had gotten... if i had pursued advertising wholeheartedly and refused ministry... who knows where i'd be... but i could never have dreamed of this life that God has given me... where i'm able to have an insanely incredible job working in a Christian environment with people who are terrific - and where i'm getting to see ministry happen all the time... the same with mary - she expressed how much God has changed art in her life - and how much greater it is now...
but it doesn't change the fact that we both went through times of dryness... of having gifts that we weren't using... feeling like those gifts were wasted and not worthwhile... only to find out at the end that God had bigger things in store than we could have ever dreamed of...
i am not trying to say that everyone goes through this... some may never go through the dry times and in others, He may not necessarily restore what was offered up to Him... we were both just so overwhelmed at the faithfulness of God in our lives... how He could see the big picture... and we had to be faithful to take those steps, even when it seemed we were leaving something we loved behind or when it seemed a little crazy... why God? why would You take this away? why am i not seeing "results?" why do i feel so unhappy? why do i feel so far away? what in the world are You doing?
"just wait... hold on... don't give up... keep following Me... i know it sounds crazy... you're almost there..."
and then...
at the end (or closer to it, anyway - a few steps in...), we see... and not only see... but we're amazed... what we had given to God - our offerings, He had returned back to us in a much better state...
and right now, i'm realizing, He does the same thing with my life... i offer Him my life, my gifts, whatever i have... but He is the one that does the work... the fine tuning that produces a much sweeter result than i could ever have dreamed of...
(and i know it's a lot easier for me to say all of this at this point in the game... and it doesn't necessarily provide much hope for those on the other side... but i hope it provides a bit of a challenge... and a further challenge to those who have gone through it and are on this side... i hope we don't forget - but instead can encourage and "be" with those who have no answers... i hope i can do that...)
1) amy's blog:
i have absolutely no idea what God is trying to teach me right now, but i'm absolutely miserable. i've hit this low point and it everyday it seems to get worse. like i'm in this giant box and it keeps getting shoved around and tossed up and down and now i want out, but i don't even know which way is up.
somedays i feel God tugging at me, but i keep running in the opposite direction. and i don't even want to. i want to stop and let him hold me, but it's like my legs won't stop running long enough to just be still and sit in his prescence. i know the stories. i know that job had everything taken away, but he remained faithful to God and he was blessed. i know that david had to take up the stones and battle goliath. i know that jonah spent time in the belly of a whale because he ran away from what God was telling him. the bible says "be faithful" and "stand firm" but how easy is it to really live that out. it's not easy at all. it's hard. it's a life full of pain, sorrow, trials. i know we as christians were never guaranteed an easy life, in fact we were told the opposite.
(to read entire entry, click here...)
2) chad's blog:
As one of my friends was speaking, God put this on my heart...What if in those times of "dryness," in the times of thirst for God, in the times of not hearing God's voice, God was really trying to teach you something. What if He was allowing you to go through these times so that you know how an unsaved person feels on an everyday basis? What if He wanted you to feel the pain that someone searching feels? And through that pain you get the sense that these people that feel this pain you are in, are the people we should be seeking to find to show them how to find the peace and hope and joy that you so regularly know through the love of God. And through this pain, in your search for the Lord, you find extreme comfort and there is nothing better than feeling the loving comfort of our Father after going through a hard, painful, dry time.
Wow God. You blew me away by putting this on my heart. I've never even thought of it this way. This is what I'm talking about. God has been moving in me. He gives me things like this to be able to comfort the people I know that are hurting right now, and He does it at just the right time. He gives me the right words to say. The Spirit of God is in me and man, am I ever thankful for it. Another way I know He is working through me is that I am starting to finally get the compassion thing. I've been starting to hurt when people hurt. I've been overwhelmed lately by the fact that when I see people hurt, it grieves my heart. I would say that compassion has never been one of my spiritual gifts, but I can see how God is working in my life to change me. I'm excited.
(to read this entire entry, click here...)
i've posted a lot in their words... partially because if i tried to summarize, i'd do a bad job... their words are powerful... no need for me to mess them up...
so part of both of those entries talk about dry times... desert-talk - how do we feel in the desert? thirsty, sure... that's an understatement... but here's where i want to tie in the third instance - a different spin on some similar thoughts...
3) i was riding with mary back to school after grabbing some lunch yesterday... all of a sudden, it hit me...
a year ago, i would never have dreamed i would be where i am... let me clarify...
when i was in college and declared a major, i wanted to have a job working in advertising/graphic design - newspaper... the whole thing... i wanted to be working in a creative field... God put that in my heart/desires - but then not too long after that, i felt like God was calling me into the ministry... immediately, all of those plans went on the back burner and i was focused on ministry... in the mean time, my portfolio and excitement for advertising suffered... close to disappearing... about a year ago, i was in downtown portland with a friend - we were going to go to a seminar at the art institute of portland - he graduated from there with a degree in graphic design... in sitting in the seminar, i was sad... i missed it - i missed being a part of that field... as we were walking back to his truck, i expressed how frustrated i was that i had put all of that behind me... and even though i'd love for that to be a part of my life again, i had chosen ministry... and i had to be faithful... a year later, and much heartache with not knowing exactly what God had for me - here i am...
mary had a similar experience with her art... she has an art degree and left it behind to go to seminary and do ministry... and now works as a church secretary... she experienced and expressed some of the same frustrations about leaving all of it behind to pursue ministry as that is what God had for her... but then He had brought it back into her life... she is able to use art as a ministry to many - it's not her entire life but it's a huge part of her ministry...
BUT... here's the great part...
when God had restored those things in our life - and when we reflected on it yesterday, we both realized how much sweeter it had gotten... if i had pursued advertising wholeheartedly and refused ministry... who knows where i'd be... but i could never have dreamed of this life that God has given me... where i'm able to have an insanely incredible job working in a Christian environment with people who are terrific - and where i'm getting to see ministry happen all the time... the same with mary - she expressed how much God has changed art in her life - and how much greater it is now...
but it doesn't change the fact that we both went through times of dryness... of having gifts that we weren't using... feeling like those gifts were wasted and not worthwhile... only to find out at the end that God had bigger things in store than we could have ever dreamed of...
i am not trying to say that everyone goes through this... some may never go through the dry times and in others, He may not necessarily restore what was offered up to Him... we were both just so overwhelmed at the faithfulness of God in our lives... how He could see the big picture... and we had to be faithful to take those steps, even when it seemed we were leaving something we loved behind or when it seemed a little crazy... why God? why would You take this away? why am i not seeing "results?" why do i feel so unhappy? why do i feel so far away? what in the world are You doing?
"just wait... hold on... don't give up... keep following Me... i know it sounds crazy... you're almost there..."
and then...
at the end (or closer to it, anyway - a few steps in...), we see... and not only see... but we're amazed... what we had given to God - our offerings, He had returned back to us in a much better state...
and right now, i'm realizing, He does the same thing with my life... i offer Him my life, my gifts, whatever i have... but He is the one that does the work... the fine tuning that produces a much sweeter result than i could ever have dreamed of...
(and i know it's a lot easier for me to say all of this at this point in the game... and it doesn't necessarily provide much hope for those on the other side... but i hope it provides a bit of a challenge... and a further challenge to those who have gone through it and are on this side... i hope we don't forget - but instead can encourage and "be" with those who have no answers... i hope i can do that...)
Nov 15, 2004
"don't you hate it when life interrupts..."
that's what my pastoral counseling professor just said to me... she's awesome...
here's why she said it... i looked at her with car key in hand and told her my car is being towed... which it is... the toyota dealership is not on my good list... they fixed my car last week and, i'm guessing, broke something else... fun times... on saturday my car wouldn't start - and when i say that - it's not like it was making any noise or anything - completely dead... i just had my battery replaced and it's been working fine... until i got it back from the shop... so, before 8 a.m., i had already made a few phone calls, have the tow truck on the way and i managed to make it on the list for today at toyota - and that never happens... i can be a little sassy when i need to be... is sassy the right word? let me consult dictionary.com... (which i have a link to on the sidebar now... :)...) yes... that's pretty close... maybe assertive... anyway...
so the tow truck guy came... and went... with my car... and now i have to go to class... but there's plenty more to blog about - especially my experience when the car wouldn't start on saturday night... and how crazy my weekend was - and my week is going to be... but that can wait until a different day - or maybe later today when i want to take a break from writing papers!!!
here's why she said it... i looked at her with car key in hand and told her my car is being towed... which it is... the toyota dealership is not on my good list... they fixed my car last week and, i'm guessing, broke something else... fun times... on saturday my car wouldn't start - and when i say that - it's not like it was making any noise or anything - completely dead... i just had my battery replaced and it's been working fine... until i got it back from the shop... so, before 8 a.m., i had already made a few phone calls, have the tow truck on the way and i managed to make it on the list for today at toyota - and that never happens... i can be a little sassy when i need to be... is sassy the right word? let me consult dictionary.com... (which i have a link to on the sidebar now... :)...) yes... that's pretty close... maybe assertive... anyway...
so the tow truck guy came... and went... with my car... and now i have to go to class... but there's plenty more to blog about - especially my experience when the car wouldn't start on saturday night... and how crazy my weekend was - and my week is going to be... but that can wait until a different day - or maybe later today when i want to take a break from writing papers!!!
Nov 14, 2004
so the links are there...
but i can't see them... frustrating... amy can see the stuff on my blog but i can't... weird technology - i guess i'll see it tomorrow...
i wonder why stuff shows up for her faster than for me... weird, huh??? but anyway - you can check out some of the blogs i frequent... there are others - maybe they'll get added later... now that i know how to add them!!!
i wonder why stuff shows up for her faster than for me... weird, huh??? but anyway - you can check out some of the blogs i frequent... there are others - maybe they'll get added later... now that i know how to add them!!!
fun times with blogs...
so i don't have the ability to post pictures... (or else i would put up this cute one of me and amy that she doesn't like... so she didn't post it...) but amy does... so i scanned some pictures and sent them amy's way - and you can check them out on her blog... fun times... maybe eventually i'll be able to - but i have to wait until i get internet on my laptop... who knows when that will be!!! but check out the pictures, because they're fun!!!
i'm working on putting sidebar links - so look for improvements to my blog soon... i love blogs!!!
i'm working on putting sidebar links - so look for improvements to my blog soon... i love blogs!!!
Nov 13, 2004
back to "normal"
okay, i know i haven't posted an entry in about a million years... but well... things have been a little crazy...
so... here's what's going on...
amy came to visit and it rocked the house... i felt bad because i had to work and then i don't really ever do anything that exciting... but here are some great things from my end about her trip here...
1) it felt really natural for her to be here... amy is one of the few friends i have that i can bear my soul to - someone who allows me to be me... i find her friendship one of the most refreshing friendships ever... so it was great to get to be around her for over a week!
2) papa haydn's - it's a great cafe on 23rd in portland - i blogged about it once - some friends and i had gone there... it's amazing... especially for desserts (which is all i've gone for) - but it was great to go again...
3) seattle - i love going to seattle... i love hanging out with friends i have there - and being in the city - thanks, chad for the tour!!
4) movie time... i have few people who will talk movies with me - and amy brought scene it (the funnest game ever) - it's totally going on my christmas list...
5) during her visit i had some time off work - so it was good to have a break from everything for a few days...
speaking of work...
my job is awesome... and it's keeping me very busy... very busy... i haven't done my job while i've been in school yet - so this next week will probably be a lot nuts for me - because my life will be "normal" - with all of my classes and a full week of work... i'm excited about it - but i know i'll be tired this time next week...
i have a bunch of things "due" for work on monday - so i thought, "i'll get them done on monday" - too bad i forgot that i only work 2 hours on monday due to school... so after i realized it tonight when i got home (after working a long day anyway), i came back up to work and finished some important things - so monday should be less stressful... hopefully...
speaking of school...
i have a whole bunch of stuff due for school on monday/tuesday... so this weekend is going to be super busy trying to get a bunch of school work done... blah!!! i'll probably need to spend all day tomorrow (after saturday morning cartoons) doing homework - and probably most of sunday, too...
i'll be glad when the semester is over... only a few weeks... actually about a month... that's crazy... eww... don't want to think about it, because then i'll have to think about all the stuff that's due in the next few weeks...
okay - so i'm not liking the way this post is going... so here's where i make a change... and write something positive... (which i kind of did at first and got distracted by the school thing)
5 things to be happy about or thankful for today
1) my car is fixed... it has new brake lights that work and a new motor for the drivers' side window... which means i can roll my window up and down now... and it only cost $50 for all of those things...
2) i had a really awesome lunch today... (i'm hungry right now, so moving on...)
3) i learned some new stuff today at work - stuff about the website - i don't know anything about webpage design - so i learned some of that today...
4) we did the layout for the center spread for the newspaper next month - and i actually got to do the hands on - with a bit of coaching from the sidelines - and i think it looks AWESOME!
5) i got to eat dinner with the family that i live with - and play with the boys before coming back to work - and it was so fun... two of them were folding clothes for a while and the youngest said, "i'm going to fold this arkansas style" - i don't really know what that means - but it became the joke of the night... because i went up to him, and i said, "i'm going to fold YOU arkansas style" - and we laughed a lot...
it's the end of the day and i'm really tired... so that means i'm going to go home... and tomorrow i'm going to sleep in because i can... and it will be wonderful... :)
as soon as i get a routine going, i'll be better about posting... until then, you'll all just have to deal!!! :)
so... here's what's going on...
amy came to visit and it rocked the house... i felt bad because i had to work and then i don't really ever do anything that exciting... but here are some great things from my end about her trip here...
1) it felt really natural for her to be here... amy is one of the few friends i have that i can bear my soul to - someone who allows me to be me... i find her friendship one of the most refreshing friendships ever... so it was great to get to be around her for over a week!
2) papa haydn's - it's a great cafe on 23rd in portland - i blogged about it once - some friends and i had gone there... it's amazing... especially for desserts (which is all i've gone for) - but it was great to go again...
3) seattle - i love going to seattle... i love hanging out with friends i have there - and being in the city - thanks, chad for the tour!!
4) movie time... i have few people who will talk movies with me - and amy brought scene it (the funnest game ever) - it's totally going on my christmas list...
5) during her visit i had some time off work - so it was good to have a break from everything for a few days...
speaking of work...
my job is awesome... and it's keeping me very busy... very busy... i haven't done my job while i've been in school yet - so this next week will probably be a lot nuts for me - because my life will be "normal" - with all of my classes and a full week of work... i'm excited about it - but i know i'll be tired this time next week...
i have a bunch of things "due" for work on monday - so i thought, "i'll get them done on monday" - too bad i forgot that i only work 2 hours on monday due to school... so after i realized it tonight when i got home (after working a long day anyway), i came back up to work and finished some important things - so monday should be less stressful... hopefully...
speaking of school...
i have a whole bunch of stuff due for school on monday/tuesday... so this weekend is going to be super busy trying to get a bunch of school work done... blah!!! i'll probably need to spend all day tomorrow (after saturday morning cartoons) doing homework - and probably most of sunday, too...
i'll be glad when the semester is over... only a few weeks... actually about a month... that's crazy... eww... don't want to think about it, because then i'll have to think about all the stuff that's due in the next few weeks...
okay - so i'm not liking the way this post is going... so here's where i make a change... and write something positive... (which i kind of did at first and got distracted by the school thing)
5 things to be happy about or thankful for today
1) my car is fixed... it has new brake lights that work and a new motor for the drivers' side window... which means i can roll my window up and down now... and it only cost $50 for all of those things...
2) i had a really awesome lunch today... (i'm hungry right now, so moving on...)
3) i learned some new stuff today at work - stuff about the website - i don't know anything about webpage design - so i learned some of that today...
4) we did the layout for the center spread for the newspaper next month - and i actually got to do the hands on - with a bit of coaching from the sidelines - and i think it looks AWESOME!
5) i got to eat dinner with the family that i live with - and play with the boys before coming back to work - and it was so fun... two of them were folding clothes for a while and the youngest said, "i'm going to fold this arkansas style" - i don't really know what that means - but it became the joke of the night... because i went up to him, and i said, "i'm going to fold YOU arkansas style" - and we laughed a lot...
it's the end of the day and i'm really tired... so that means i'm going to go home... and tomorrow i'm going to sleep in because i can... and it will be wonderful... :)
as soon as i get a routine going, i'll be better about posting... until then, you'll all just have to deal!!! :)
Nov 2, 2004
this is it... this is life...
sometimes i forget that this is real life... i know that sounds silly, but every now and then i think that i'm going to either 1) wake up and it's all a dream or 2) someone will yell "cut" and we'll have to re-shoot the scene...
and this is the way i often look at things in my mind...
i had meaningful conversations yesterday... but sometimes i see them as "just" talks with friends...
i took a test yesterday that i didn't study for, but it's "just" school...
amy is coming on a plane today, but it's "just" a visit...
i start my new career tomorrow, but it's "just" a job...
and i hate that i see my life as "just" life... why don't i seize every second - every moment of the day... me sitting here writing and erasing - it's part of my existence... part of my life... i have chosen certain things that take up my seconds, minutes, hours, days... and those things make up my life... am i choosing wisely? because i'm pretty sure i'm not about to wake up or hear someone scream "cut" unless i'm having the most real dream ever or someone comes in with a pair of scissors wanting something trimmed...
so i want to see today as part of my life... the sometimes very exciting crazy world of my life and sometimes the "normal" everyday stuff that i generally take for granted... i hope i don't forget to treasure that time spent with a friend going out to dinner when we really don't have the time or money for it... i hope i don't forget to treasure every second of a visit with one of the dearest friends i've ever had... i hope i don't forget to treasure the time that i'm in school... and i hope i don't forget to treasure this job that my Daddy has entrusted me with... can i remain faithful to treasure and praise God for the gifts He's given me, whether they seem big or small, significant or insignificant, short-term or long-term... because i guess i've realized they do really count... and i need to be aware of them... and thankful for them... so i don't look back in 10 years and say... "where did it go? i was just having dinner with her between classes and now she lives on the other side of the world and i haven't talked to her in 6 months..."
so my friend cynthia used to say... "embrace it." and i like this better than my use of the word treasure in the last paragraph... if i forget to embrace this life - everyday - the "normal" stuff... i guess i'd rather try and embrace it - and not see everything as a memory... but the excitement of making the memories...
which makes me think of a movie quote... (hurry, amy's on the plane, so the rest of you have a chance... :)...) what's the going rate for quotes these days??? oh... 500 points...
a: what are you doing?
b: i'm making a memory.
a: making a memory?
b: years from now when i'm quite grown up, i want to remember my grandfather and how he always smelled of... tobacco and peppermint.
a: well, i'll tell you what. i use the peppermint for my indigestion and the tobacco to make your grandmother mad.
i just have a couple of hours left at my job at the library - and sunday was my last day at michael's... i have 7 hours of classes later today and amy gets here at 11:00 tonight and i start my new job at 8:30 tomorrow morning... so i want to make the most of today... i have a lot to do!!! so i better get on with it!!!
and this is the way i often look at things in my mind...
i had meaningful conversations yesterday... but sometimes i see them as "just" talks with friends...
i took a test yesterday that i didn't study for, but it's "just" school...
amy is coming on a plane today, but it's "just" a visit...
i start my new career tomorrow, but it's "just" a job...
and i hate that i see my life as "just" life... why don't i seize every second - every moment of the day... me sitting here writing and erasing - it's part of my existence... part of my life... i have chosen certain things that take up my seconds, minutes, hours, days... and those things make up my life... am i choosing wisely? because i'm pretty sure i'm not about to wake up or hear someone scream "cut" unless i'm having the most real dream ever or someone comes in with a pair of scissors wanting something trimmed...
so i want to see today as part of my life... the sometimes very exciting crazy world of my life and sometimes the "normal" everyday stuff that i generally take for granted... i hope i don't forget to treasure that time spent with a friend going out to dinner when we really don't have the time or money for it... i hope i don't forget to treasure every second of a visit with one of the dearest friends i've ever had... i hope i don't forget to treasure the time that i'm in school... and i hope i don't forget to treasure this job that my Daddy has entrusted me with... can i remain faithful to treasure and praise God for the gifts He's given me, whether they seem big or small, significant or insignificant, short-term or long-term... because i guess i've realized they do really count... and i need to be aware of them... and thankful for them... so i don't look back in 10 years and say... "where did it go? i was just having dinner with her between classes and now she lives on the other side of the world and i haven't talked to her in 6 months..."
so my friend cynthia used to say... "embrace it." and i like this better than my use of the word treasure in the last paragraph... if i forget to embrace this life - everyday - the "normal" stuff... i guess i'd rather try and embrace it - and not see everything as a memory... but the excitement of making the memories...
which makes me think of a movie quote... (hurry, amy's on the plane, so the rest of you have a chance... :)...) what's the going rate for quotes these days??? oh... 500 points...
a: what are you doing?
b: i'm making a memory.
a: making a memory?
b: years from now when i'm quite grown up, i want to remember my grandfather and how he always smelled of... tobacco and peppermint.
a: well, i'll tell you what. i use the peppermint for my indigestion and the tobacco to make your grandmother mad.
i just have a couple of hours left at my job at the library - and sunday was my last day at michael's... i have 7 hours of classes later today and amy gets here at 11:00 tonight and i start my new job at 8:30 tomorrow morning... so i want to make the most of today... i have a lot to do!!! so i better get on with it!!!
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